You May Be A Mennonite If.....

You've all heard "you may be a redneck if" well I came up with a Mennonite version last summer, hope you enjoy it:

One or more of your relatives is a minister

You have aunts and uncles who are younger than you

You have frindshauft in Mexico, Belize and South America

It takes at least 3 "settings" to feed everyone at a family gathering

You know exactly which villages have the best potato soil in Manitoba

You visited relatives in Alberta on your honeymoon

Your idea of keeping up with the Janzens is making sure you have a bigger garden than they do

You milked a cow when you were a kid

You have serious discussions about who makes the bast pickles evers

You can't decide what you treasure more, your Teichroeb books or your Locust and Wild Honey record

Poverty means not owning the most basic necessities which include a picnic table, a knipsbrat and a lawn swing

The decision to make compst borcht or somma borscht for supper makes you almost frekt

You remember the "bangs debate"

You're not sure if you would actually die if someone saw you at the LC but you would definitely be gaunz marshich ashamed

At least 3 of your uncles have the same name

You feel a compulsion to buy 50 boxes of flapper eggs every Easter

You spring clean in fall

In your books, Stew Clayton is about as hot as they come

You celebrated you 18th birthday by starting to listen to funeral announcements instead of Aunt Ollie on CFAM

On the way to church Sunday morning you were either holding someone on your lap or being held by someone in the car

You have ever cruised a village

You had to share bath water with your siblings because filling the tub 13 times would completely run dat sista dry

Your parents judged your date by how good a farmer his dad was

The words Christmas "vench" strike terror in your hear

You went to a funeral of someone you had never met because they were a relative of your grandma's step-sister

One room of your home was completely filled with old copies of da Readers Digests

You judge a woman by how many kinds of sweets, jams and buns she is able to present when you show up uninvited for faspa

You have ever uttered the phrase "Fun vaut sort Pannash bast du?"

You blush when someone compliments your buns

You have partzeltye for the entire first week of the New Year

You regularly shop at Co-ops

Within minutes of meeting another Mennonite you wonder if you are maybe yet related to this person


-Written by Dee Valm Raemasche (yo, yo, krikt fun dee sort......)